


For Now.

by sashimiontoast



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Drabble, Emotional, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M, how ash feels, just read it, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 02:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16188281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashimiontoast/pseuds/sashimiontoast
Summary: He wanted everything to be okay. He wanted to tell himself that Eiji would stay and not leave him like everyone else did. But he knew all too well, that it was an impossible wish.





	For Now.

_ Eiji had always been beautiful to Ash. _

 

With his dark hair and warm chocolate eyes and soft skin, it was hard to think that he wasn’t the most beautiful man alive.

 

He was always captivating. His bright smile outshone the sun, and his laugh rang like a melody in Ash’s ears. Everything about Eiji had Ash hypnotised, and he didn’t even realise it.

 

Just when Ash thought that Eiji couldn’t get anymore spectacular, he saw a side of him that made his heart race five times faster than it usually would when he was around him.

 

Eiji was a photographer, this Ash knew very well.

However, he had never seen Eiji in action, he had never seen him taking photos and doing what he does so well.

But that afternoon he did.

 

Ash watched him crouching beside the river, peering into the lens trying to capture the skyline in front of him.

 

He looked so _different_.

 

He had a look of extreme concentration on his face, his eyebrows narrowed and eyes piercing. His hands seemed even more delicate wrapped around the camera. 

Something about him made Ash feel so content and warm but at the same time rather envious. 

He felt warmness at the sight of the afternoon sunlight scattering over him, making him glow even more than he already did. The light reflecting from the water in front of him, shone and sparkled making his eyes do the same.

Ash felt content and happy. He felt happy that Eiji was doing what he loved. He felt content that he was here with him, next to this wonderful human being, breathing and existing at the same time and space as him.

 

He was also envious. Envious and jealous of the person who Eiji would come to love in the future. Jealous of the camera that he looked at so intensely, and how his hands held so strongly.

It was _stupid,_ Ash knew that.

 

But he couldn’t help but want more than he already had.

He was grateful that he was here by his side, that he could cry on his shoulder if he needed to. But he knew that this haven wasn’t going to last forever.

 

_No_ , nothing ever lasted, especially for someone as ill fated as Ash.

 

He wanted everything to be okay. He wanted to tell himself that Eiji would stay and not leave him like everyone else did. But he knew all too well, that that was an impossible wish.

 

As he was filled with these poisonous thoughts he wished he had never met him. Then he wouldn’t have to say goodbye, and his life would be the normal hell it was.

 

_He didn’t know what hurt more._ The fact that he would have to say goodbye, or the fact that the Japanese boy stumbled into his life mercilessly in the first place.

 

Ash was stumped. His throat and chest knotted up.

 

This toxic dread always silently gnawed in his mind. He was so entranced by Eiji yet so afraid of him.

_ It was like Eiji was a butterfly, and if he got too close he would flutter away. _

 

_Losing him would be a pain so intense,_  Ash decided. _It would be his biggest regret, even in his world full of them..._

 

 

 

 

 

Eiji was smiling at him. 

A smile so genuine that he wanted to keep it to himself, and shove it in his pocket and not let anyone else in the universe see the face which was only meant for him.

 

Ash smiled back softly.

 

_ For now… _

Ash thought.

 

 

_For now everything is perfect._

 

Ash needs nothing more than to see Eiji’s smile and have him by his side every day. To argue with him, to cry to him, to have him hold him tightly on freezing nights...

 

 

_ Tomorrow is another day. Another day he can at least hope to spend with Eiji by his side... _

 

Ash knew that when Eiji would leave, his world would tumble down into the dark hell it was before, full of nothing but malice. Eiji bought him out of the evil, _like an angel he took away his horns._

 

 

 

Eiji was walking towards him, his camera in his hand, his coffee brown eyes glimmering.

 

 

Ash held out his hand, as Eiji took it, the warmness of his fingers and smoothness of his palms making him numb. 

He smiled up at him, his black hair rustling in the wind, his eyes never leaving Ash’s.

 

Brown looking into emerald green.

 

_For now,_ Ash thought.

 

**_ Let's live this temporary heaven. _ **

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was kinda rushed but enjoy ! pls chuck a kudos n sum comments <3
> 
> have a nice day.


End file.
